


almost

by m1nhees



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Boys In Love, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Hwang Hyunjin Being an Asshole, Idiots in Love, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, M/M, Nostalgia, kinda. he ignores seungmin, lovers to strangers, seungmin looks back at parts of their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:05:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19421884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m1nhees/pseuds/m1nhees
Summary: seungmin is filled with regret as he misses hyunjin. regret for everything that almost happened.





	almost

almost.

they almost made it. seungmin wondered what cruel deities had spun their webs of fate to give them the false hope that they could ever actually be together. he’d thought they had been perfect for each other. but fate decided otherwise. looking at a photo of hyunjin and him looking so happy made him smile, albeit sad that he had let hyunjin go so easily. hyunjin had swiped his cheek with ice cream right as they took the photo, which had made seungmin laugh; hyunjin had a mischievous look glinting in his eyes. seungmin missed the carefree moments that they’d shared. they almost made it.

_“hi, jinnie!” seungmin exclaimed as he saw hyunjin approaching. it was their second anniversary and hyunjin had told him that he had a surprise for him so seungmin was excited. they held hands under the gingham tablecloth (seungmin had never been a fan of pda)._

_“hi, baby.” hyunjin said with a smile, though seungmin noticed that it didn’t quite reach his eyes, which made him frown._

_“what’s wrong, jinnie?”_

_“nothing.” hyunjin replied shortly, avoiding eye contact with seungmin. seungmin glanced around the restaurant, wondering why his boyfriend was acting so strangely. although, he was glad that the restaurant wasn’t packed even though it had a great reputation. last time they had visited, it had been filled with people, which had made seungmin uneasy. the restaurant was decorated with red rose petals and little candles that filled the air with the scent of vanilla, mixing with the smell of the food. in the corner sat a pianist, coincidentally playing seungmin’s favourite song._

_while they ate, hyunjin remained silent even though he was the one who usually led the conversation. seungmin was confused, he didn’t know why hyunjin was acting so weirdly; it wasn’t until they finished their meal that he found out._

_as hyunjin began speaking, the previously happy tune faded into a more melancholic melody. “seungmin, i have to tell you something.” seungmin looked up with slight panic in his eyes, already thinking of the worst possible scenarios. “i’m moving to america.”_

_seungmin felt like time had stopped around them; it was just the two of them. everything else seemed to fall apart as he looked at hyunjin, only blinking. “why?” he asked after what felt like millennia to him._

_“my dad wants me to go to university there because i’ll have better opportunities there. i told him that i wanted to stay here, with you. but he wouldn’t listen.” a lone tear made its way down seungmin’s cheek and hyunjin squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner. “i’m sorry, baby.”_

_“what does that mean for us?” seungmin asked._

_“i think we should break up, min. i don’t think a long-distance relationship would work.” hyunjin sighed, letting go of seungmin’s hand. he felt the very fibres of his being ripping apart. it felt like a giant weight had been placed on his heart._

_“hyunjin, we can make it work,” seungmin pleaded, reaching to grab hyunjin’s hand again (above the table this time) but as soon as his hand brushed hyunjin’s, the older boy ripped his hand back to place it by his side._

_standing up, hyunjin strolled over to the counter to pay the bill (if hyunjin wasn’t ignoring him, seungmin would have protested and offered to pay himself or at least pay half). when he walked back over to seungmin, who hadn’t moved from where he was sitting, he held his arms out to offer the boy a hug. seungmin stood up so quickly that he almost lost his balance; he ignored hyunjin’s open arms, instead choosing to press his lips to hyunjin’s plush ones in a last kiss. unlike most of their other kisses, seungmin (the shy one) led the kiss, smiling softly against hyunjin’s lips when the kiss ended._

_“please don’t leave,” seungmin whispered as they pulled apart. smiling sadly, hyunjin hugged seungmin tightly._

_“goodbye, baby. i’ll miss you.”_

_“won’t we talk at all?” seungmin didn’t cry but he felt the tears build up, like rain about to flood._

_“no, min. it’ll be too hard for the both of us.” hyunjin said, turning on his heel._

_when he reached the door, seungmin spoke up again. “hyunjin!” the boy turned around again to look at him; he stood there for a few seconds before giving seungmin an apologetic look and leaving._

_he almost stayed._

_seungmin felt something in himself break and he fell down into his chair, holding his head in his hands as he felt his eyes flood with his tears._

seungmin had tried to message hyunjin multiple times since that night. eventually, the messages had stopped sending and he figured that the older had changed his number so seungmin couldn’t message him anymore. all he had was the memories: happy and sad. he still had memories of hyunjin all around his apartment that hyunjin had left whenever he stayed over. seungmin hadn’t worn the last hoodie that hyunjin had left over (almost two years ago now) because it smelled like him and he didn’t want to ruin that. there was also the polaroid picture of their first date that hyunjin had taken; he kept it on his mirror so that he could see it every day, even though it gave him a sense of desolate nostalgia.

_the two boys giggled as they ran down the hill. their hands instinctively sought for the other’s, although it was only their first date. seungmin didn’t even care about the open expression of affection because hyunjin made him feel free. he was wearing a loose top that flowed in the wind as they ran – like a spring stream after a storm._

_hyunjin had suggested that they have a picnic date in the park because it was casual and didn’t put too much pressure on them. even though it was only their first date, they immediately clicked and fit together like two puzzle pieces: entirely different yet so compatible._

_“_ _seungmin, do you want to eat now?” hyunjin asked as they reached the bottom of the hill. smiling, seungmin nodded._

_seungmin sat cross-legged opposite hyunjin on top of the blanket that hyunjin had brought out with him. the older had brought a wide selection of food, which made seungmin grin. hyunjin reciprocated the smile dopily as they began eating._

_while eating, seungmin took in the early spring atmosphere around him. there weren’t many people around as it was due to rain later in the day, so most people had decided to stay in. it was beautiful to him. the grass was beginning to regain its earthy green colour and the leaves were growing on the trees. seungmin bathed in the tranquillity that the growth brought._

_noticing that hyunjin was wearing rose gold earrings, seungmin smiled; hyunjin was so adorable. the rose gold reminded him of the sun that had only just started to warm up; it was soft and shimmering, like the earrings._

_seungmin was surprised when he saw a strawberry hovering in front of his mouth. the ring-covered hands that were holding it belonged to hyunjin, who was giggling softly. when he opened his mouth, hyunjin placed the strawberry in. seungmin’s cheeks turned pink, like the dainty wildflowers in the park._

_subconsciously, hyunjin moved closer until his face was only centimetres away from the younger’s. said boy blushed deeper as he noticed the proximity of hyunjin’s face to his. hyunjin glanced down at seungmin’s rosy pink lips before his gaze returned to seungmin’s eyes. realising how close they were, hyunjin pulled away with a tiny smile that made seungmin’s heart flutter, like butterflies._

_they almost kissed._

seungmin smiled, fondly reminiscing as he placed the photo back on the mirror, which was encompassed in photos of the two boys. although seungmin smiled when he looked at the photos, his happiness was temporary without hyunjin by his side. he’d tried to move on, like hyunjin clearly had. (seungmin had created a fake account on instagram in order to follow hyunjin – hyunjin had already blocked him a few weeks after he’d moved to america – and he could see hyunjin’s bright smile and sun-kissed face, as well as his pictures with a boy called chan). it had hurt him to see that hyunjin was moving on; it felt like his entire world was falling apart. but he wanted hyunjin to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him and even if he wasn’t happy at all. he’d give up everything to see hyunjin happy (and in a way, he supposed he had). all seungmin had left of hyunjin was memories of the moments they’d shared. they had too many promises that were almost fulfilled, too many things that had almost happened, too many plans that were almost carried out.

almost.


End file.
